My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
