i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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