Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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