She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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