the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
