I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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