Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
