So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
