The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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