so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
