Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
did i just pee glitter
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
