I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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