garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
