i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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