i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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