It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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