What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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