we're blogging at a bar
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
