I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
