so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
they need to just BURY HIM!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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