i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize