He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize