We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Randomize
