The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
