So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
