I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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