it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
