you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize