So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I would ride that face into the sunset
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize