I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
