Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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