Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
