you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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