...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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