Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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