I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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