i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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