did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
