I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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