Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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