Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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