I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
