if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
