i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
