Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
