peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
