My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im holly from the hills drunk
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
