can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
