yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
