You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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