so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
