I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
