Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
