Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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