i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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