Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We have started to decorate penises.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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