whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
