Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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