Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
