Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
