You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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