Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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