am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize