I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
