I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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